Striving for Science C31 pt2

The early winter night arrived unusually early. As usual, Liu Hao bought half a jin of duck tongues from a street vendor after work, his wife's favorite. Duck tongues had gone up in price recently. He glanced at the braised pig ears he liked, hesitated for two or three seconds, and left with the duck tongues.

He encountered a few acquaintances on the way, exchanged greetings with them, and continued walking home. The braised meat shop was three bus stops away from his home, and he didn't want to waste the two yuan, so he used the excuse of exercising to walk back every day.

The building he lived in had no property management, it was an old-style building, and the hallway was always littered with trash "accidentally" dropped by neighbors. There wasn't a single day in the year that was clean.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard the old woman on the first floor yelling at a resident upstairs for their lack of civic responsibility, throwing their trash onto her protective window. The old woman's voice was sharp and loud, piercing his eardrums.

He looked up at the dusty apartment building, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a flattened cigarette pack. He took out a cigarette, lit it, and took a deep drag.

The hazy smoke obscured his facial expression. He squatted downstairs, listening to the old woman's scolding, his face numb and vacant.

Footsteps came from behind him, and he moved aside.

"Brother, does Liu Hao live here?" The young man speaking was dressed in clean clothes, radiating youthful energy, like a tender sprout in early winter.

Liu Hao threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped on it with his foot. "I am, who are you, what do you want?"

"Are you Liu Hao?" Shen Chang'an turned to look at the girl, this didn't seem to match her description of "fair skin, refined appearance, and very clean.”

The man in front of him was slightly overweight, his jacket wrinkled and ill-fitting, and he had a circle of stubble on his chin, looking quite unkempt, not at all matching the word "refined."

"Sorry to bother you." Shen Chang'an smiled. "I was asked to come see you."

"Who?" Liu Hao bent down to pick up the cigarette butt on the ground, casually tossing it into the nearby trash can.

"A woman named Linlin." Shen Chang'an glanced at the young girl standing beside him, silent.

The man stuffed his cold hands into his pockets, failing on the first try, but finally managing to get them in on the second. "Which Linlin?"

Shen Chang'an didn't expect such a reaction. He looked at Liu Hao, then at the girl named Linlin, and fell silent.

Seeing Shen Chang'an fall silent, Liu Hao curled his lips, forcing a smile. "I should go home."

Seeing Liu Hao about to leave, Shen Chang'an thought Linlin would ask him to do something, but she just kept her head down, not even looking at the slightly overweight man.

"He's not my lover, my lover doesn't smoke, he's not fat, and he's not ugly like this." Linlin muttered under her breath, as if refusing to acknowledge that the man she loved had become this way.

"Haozi." A woman with a ponytail came down from upstairs. Seeing Liu Hao, she said to him, "You watch the kids, I'll go to the store to buy some soy sauce, we're out."

"Why didn't you call me? I could have brought it back on my way, no need for you to make a special trip." Liu Hao walked naturally to the woman, placing the duck tongue he was carrying in her hand. "It's a bit cold outside, you go back first, I'll go buy some."

"This is so expensive, don't buy it next time." The woman looked at the duck tongue in her hand, smiling and scolding him. "Then come back soon, I'll go chop the vegetables."

"Mm." Liu Hao reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind the woman's ear. "I know."

The woman noticed Shen Chang'an standing beside Liu Hao and smiled at him. "You're Haozi's friend, right? Come have dinner with us tonight."

"No, thank you, sister-in-law." Shen Chang'an gave the woman a polite smile.

The woman assumed they had something to discuss, so after exchanging a few polite words with Shen Chang'an, she went back upstairs. The man reached into his jacket again for his cigarette pack, only to find it empty. He tossed the empty pack away and turned to leave.

"I met my wife a few years ago." Liu Hao suddenly spoke, "Linlin had just passed away for two years, and I was self-destructive, even lost my job." He paused, seemingly not wanting to talk about the past.

"Did you also hear the story of my love with Linlin and think I betrayed our love, so you came here to condemn me?" Liu Hao bought a bottle of soy sauce at the grocery store, then thought for a moment and picked up two lollipops, chuckling self-deprecatingly, "In the mouths of others, the story of my love with Linlin, perhaps only if I never marry or go with her would it be considered a perfect ending."

"Even now, there are still friends of Linlin's who call me a scumbag." Liu Hao smiled, a smile that was both nonchalant and numb, "I don't care what you call me, just don't harass my wife and children, they're innocent."

"I betrayed our love, I deserve to be scolded."

The beginning of a love story is a couple promising to be together for life and death, then the girl dies in an accident, the boy is devastated, becomes self-destructive, and eventually chooses a new life.

These cheesy stories, the plots were already overused in cheap magazines years ago, but these stories didn't write about the public opinion and pain faced by those who survived.

"The way I look now, if Linlin were still alive, she probably wouldn't recognize me. Bringing up our past love is pointless." Liu Hao chuckled self-deprecatingly, shrugging his shoulders, "Is there anything else you want to ask?"

Shen Chang'an shook his head, "No, I wish you and your family a happy life."

Liu Hao was taken aback, then he laughed, "You're the first of Linlin's friends to wish me a happy family life." His smile brightened, "Thank you, I'll pass on your blessing to my wife."

Watching the slightly overweight man slowly walk across the street and into the dilapidated apartment building, Shen Chang'an turned to Linlin, "Are you still resentful?"

Linlin stared at Shen Chang'an, "You know I'm dead, aren't you afraid?"

Shen Chang'an didn't answer her question, "Are you resentful about the love that ended because of your death, or are you reluctant to let go of this man?"

Linlin remained silent for a long time, "I haven't seen him in nearly eight years. Because there's a wish plaque we left at the Yuelao Temple, I have the chance to return to the temple every year during the Yuelao Temple Fair. But in these eight years, he hasn't returned to the place where we made our wish once."

Eight years was enough time for a man to let go of his pain, and also enough time for a handsome and refined young man to become a middle-aged man who was overweight, greasy, and ordinary.

Upon seeing Liu Hao's current appearance, Linlin's first thought wasn't excitement, anger, or joy, but embarrassment.

She even began to regret telling Shen Chang'an that she had lingered in the underworld for eight years, unwilling to reincarnate, for a man like this.

Some love can't withstand the test of time, some love can't withstand the aging of appearance.

If Linlin hadn't died unexpectedly, perhaps Liu Hao wouldn't have become like this. It's also possible that after being together, their love story would have faded with time and life, turning them into a couple who argued over mundane things like food and money, their love story disappearing, becoming an ordinary couple in the eyes of their friends.

"Thank you, sir, for bringing me to see him." Linlin took out the wooden plaque she had hidden in her hand, and with a squeeze of her palm, it turned to dust.

Shen Chang'an looked at the darkening sky: "You should go."

"Sir, when did you realize I wasn't human?"

Shen Chang'an thought for a moment: "Perhaps it's because you're so heartbroken but can't shed tears."

He didn't know where he had read it in a novel, but it said that ghosts have no tears. If a ghost can cry, what flows is not tears, but their soul.

Linlin hesitated, for in front of a man who remained calm even when seeing a ghost, she had nothing to say. When the sky was finally replaced by complete darkness, she mumbled, "Sir, please tell him for me, just say... I wish him happiness for the rest of his life, I don't blame him for breaking his promise."

Shen Chang'an: "It's no use blaming him, he can't hear you anyway."

Linlin: "..."

Couldn't he be moved or sentimental at this moment?

The good mood, disrupted by Shen Chang'an's few words, caused the female ghost, Linlin, to disappear into the night, her expressionless face taut.

"Young people these days, they just can't handle the truth." Shen Chang'an sighed and sent a message to Dao Nian.

Chang'an: Dao Nian, don't you think that even the most beautiful love will become pale and unbearable due to the passage of time and the fading of beauty?

Seeing this message, Dao Nian furrowed his brow. After pondering for a long time, he replied with a message full of survival instinct, "Even if you grow old, I won't dislike you."

Shen Chang'an, holding his phone, was speechless.

Can brotherhood be compared to love? But such sentiment and attitude were still moving to him, so he searched for an image of a hug in his emoji library.

"Young people these days, they have no decorum at all." Dao Nian tossed his phone onto the table and snorted coldly.

But his eyes occasionally stole glances at his phone.

"You again?" an old man's voice rang out.

Shen Chang'an turned around. It was the old man who had stopped him from praying to Yuelao earlier that morning. The old man was holding a large bundle of rough red strings that hadn't been sold, suggesting business wasn't good.

Seeing Shen Chang'an staring at the red string in his hand, the old man hid it behind his back. "What are you looking at? This isn't for you."

Shen Chang'an: "..."

Uncle, you're thinking too much. I don't have the bad habit of stealing things from old people.

Liu Mao drove to the place Shen Chang'an had mentioned. Seeing the old man standing beside him, he furrowed his brows in confusion. "Why is Yuelao here?"

"Mr. Shen," Liu Mao walked up to them, "Do you know this old man?"

"No, it was just a coincidence that I saw him carrying the red string." Shen Chang'an chuckled. "I was actually thinking, since it's so late, I could buy some strings to support his business…"

"Don't you dare accuse me! I never thought of selling you the red string, and I wouldn't even if I could. Just give up." The old man glared at Liu Mao, wishing he could swear on his own god statue. He would never, ever sell the red string to Shen Chang'an, even if it meant destroying his own idol.

Shen Chang'an: "..."

If you don't want to sell, then don't. You make it sound like selling him a red string will bring about the end of the world.

Shen Chang'an gave Liu Mao a helpless smile. "See, it's like this."

"Oh," Liu Mao drawled, pointing to his head. "Don't bother arguing with old people who are losing their marbles. The sir is still at home waiting for you to come back for dinner."

Hearing the word "Sir," the old man shuddered. He looked at Shen Chang'an as if he were a femme fatale. To stay by Sir's side and still dare to pray to Yuelao for a matchmaker, that's like swallowing the heavens' courage. When it comes to courting death, humans are really second to none.

That evening, Shen Chang'an returned home and just sat down at the dinner table when Dao Nian suddenly asked him, "What do you think about me building a home?"

"Isn't this your home?" Shen Chang'an was a little surprised.

"This is just a place for me to stay." Dao Nian looked at Chang'an, not wanting to miss a single expression on his face. "I don't have a home."

"Do you think… I should have a home*?"

TN: similar to English, the Chinese character for home also means family.