Striving for Science C38 pt1

I'll come keep you company.

Those simple words were like a barrier against the wind that was constantly blowing towards his heart, allowing his heart to gradually calm down.

"No need, I'll just walk around outside for a bit, I'll be back soon." After typing this message, Shen Chang'an hesitated for less than half a second before sending it.

His phone rang the next second.

"Where are you?"

"…"

"Outside your door." Saying this, Shen Chang'an felt a little embarrassed. He wasn't intentionally coming here, he was just wandering around aimlessly and happened to end up here.

"Stay where you are."

Less than two minutes later, the community's gates swung open, and Dao Nian, sitting in his wheelchair, still with that expressionless look on his face, appeared. He was alone, dressed neatly, not looking like he had just gotten out of bed.

The streetlights were dim, Shen Chang'an leaned against the lamppost, turning his head to look at Dao Nian under the streetlight, and smiled.

In Dao Nian's eyes, Shen Chang'an looked like a homeless little wretch, waiting for someone to take him home. He reached out his hand, "Come, I'll take you back."

"I'm a grown man, I don't need to be taken anywhere." Shen Chang'an rubbed his nose, which was a little cold from the wind, and walked over to Dao Nian, "Why aren't you asleep this late?"

"If I were asleep, how could I come pick up you, who wants to cry?" Dao Nian took a small bottle out of his coat and stuffed it into Shen Chang'an's hand, "Eat this."

"What is this?"

"Candy to make kids happy."

Shen Chang'an took out a piece and put it in his mouth. The sweet, refreshing, and non-greasy taste spread throughout his body, and the feeling of depression in his heart seemed to truly dissipate with this sweetness.

He took the initiative to push Dao Nian back, Dao Nian said, "Can't sleep, let's take a walk around."

Shen Chang'an's steps paused slightly, the one who couldn't really sleep was him, not Dao Nian. He didn't refuse Dao Nian's thoughtfulness, pushing him slowly through the neighborhood.

The darkness that should have been frightening, at this moment, gave Shen Chang'an a sense of peace. The wheelchair rolled over the cobblestone path, making a soft sound, the moonlight fell on the water, dyeing the surface with a shimmering silver.

"If it were summer night now, the moon would be bright, the lotus would be in full bloom, it would be so beautiful." Shen Chang'an looked at the water, rambling on and on about useless nonsense.

Dao Nian listened quietly, he didn't even ask Shen Chang'an what had happened. It seemed that as long as Shen Chang'an was willing to talk, he was willing to listen.

Shen Chang'an talked and talked, then suddenly fell silent. He sat on a nearby stone, hugging his knees, staring blankly at the water: "Actually... I'm a little sad today."

Dao Nian hesitated for a moment, then reached out and patted his shoulder.

"It turns out, I'm not my parents' biological child." After a long silence, Shen Chang'an spoke, "When the news of Dad's sacrifice came back, Mom didn't sleep well for a whole month, she lost nearly twenty jin. But to take care of me, she persevered."

"I should have asked him, why my parents would..." Why they were attacked after their death, and it took several years for them to be able to reincarnate. He remembered that Dao Nian was a strong advocate for science, didn't believe in ghosts and gods, and even donated a lot of money to their department to promote scientific thinking, so he decided to keep this matter to himself.

"Their love for me was selfless." Shen Chang'an's eyes were slightly red, "All these years have passed, I've long been accustomed to living alone, even when writing essays, I can calmly write about the warmth of those days, but…"

He finally admitted, he missed them, he missed them very much.

He envied others who had mothers who nagged them, fathers who gave them instructions, people waiting for them to come home when they were on holiday, and people worrying about whether they were eating well and sleeping soundly when they were out.

Even when young people complained about being pressured by their parents to get married, he would think, if his parents were still alive, would they urge him to find a girlfriend? If they did, how would he deal with it? On Mother's Day, he wanted to buy a bouquet of carnations and a coat for his mother, so she could show off to her friends how thoughtful and filial her son was. On Mother's Day, he wanted to buy a hat for his father, so he could complain at work about how his son was a spendthrift.

But he didn't have the chance, and neither did his parents.

So many regrets, so much he couldn't bear to let go of, he could only pretend to tell himself that he was a man, he was grown up, he could be like his father, a man of integrity, with a clear conscience.

Only occasionally, when he ate mooncakes, would he remember how his father always broke off a big piece of mooncake for him, watching him eat with his mouth full of crumbs, praising him for eating with gusto.

When he finished a jigsaw puzzle, wrote a number, or wrote his own name, they would all praise him.

Our Youyou is so amazing.

He said he would buy them a big airplane to ride, and he said he would buy them a sea to go boating in. They would always pat his head and say with a smile, our Youyou is so great.

Dad and Mom love Youyou the most.

Dad loves Youyou the most.

Mom loves Youyou the most.

"Dao Nian, I don't have a dad or mom who loves me the most anymore." Shen Chang'an covered his face and suddenly burst into tears, crying until his face was a mess.

In this bustling world, he had been alone for a very long time.

No matter how handsome a person is, they don't look good when they cry.

A drop of water fell on Dao Nian's back of his hand, and he smelled a faint salty taste. He frowned, confusedly touching his chest, what's wrong here...?

It felt like it was in pain.

He wondered what he should say, but in his long life, he had never pitied those who cried, nor had he ever thought about doing anything for their tears.

"Don't cry." He bent down stiffly and gently rubbed Shen Chang'an's messy hair, "How about... I learn to love you the most?"

Shen Chang'an looked at Dao Nian with tears and laughter: "You're not my parents."

"You can think of me as your parents." Dao Nian thought for a moment, "Although being both a father and a mother is a bit troublesome, I can still hold on."

How human parents treat their children, he could learn to do the same. Human cubs are not easy to coax, he could only spend more effort to make him happy, it's just a bit tiring.

"I don't have parents as young as you." Shen Chang'an wiped his face with his hand, Dao Nian couldn't bear to watch, so he stuffed a handkerchief into his hand, "I'm very old, I just have a young face."

"Yes, yes, you're actually a centenarian, old enough for me to call you grandpa." Thinking about how he, a big man, had cried like that just now, Shen Chang'an felt a little embarrassed, he wiped his face with the handkerchief, took a deep breath: "Dao Nian, thank you."

"You're welcome, after all, I'm old enough to be your grandpa." Dao Nian noticed that Shen Chang'an's nose was red from crying, so he took off his jacket and put it on him, "Let's go, little junior, grandpa is old and needs to go home to sleep."

"You shameless jerk, you actually took advantage of me!" Taking off his jacket, still warm from his body, Shen Chang'an put it back on Dao Nian. "Don't be silly, my physique is much better than yours. I won't catch a cold, you're the one who needs to be careful."

Dao Nian's face remained stiff: "I won't get sick."

"You won't get sick, I'm practically a walking fortress." Putting the jacket back on Dao Nian, Shen Chang'an stood up. "Let's go back to sleep."

After crying, although he looked a bit embarrassing, he felt much better.

As he entered the house, Shen Chang'an was a little worried. What if someone saw him in this disheveled state after crying? How would he face anyone?

Fortunately, everyone else in the house was asleep. He pushed Dao Nian towards his room, helped him take off his shoes and jacket. When he tried to help Dao Nian take off his pants, he was stopped.

"I can do it myself."

"Okay." Shen Chang'an retreated to the doorway, smiling at Dao Nian. "Dao Nian, good night."

Seeing Shen Chang'an back to his usual cheerful self, Dao Nian's lips twitched slightly: "Good night."

That night, Shen Chang'an didn't hear any humming and fell into a deep sleep.

He had a bizarre dream. In the dream, Dao Nian, expressionless, said to him, "Young man, you are my long-lost grandson. Come with me."

He was so scared he could barely breathe. The feeling of being taken advantage of by his friend in his dream was like a debt he couldn't repay.

When he finally managed to open his eyes, he saw several people standing by his bed: the twins Shen Tu and Yu Lei, Uncle Zhao, and Brother Liu.

"You guys...cough cough." Shen Chang'an tried to sit up in bed, but fell back down.

"You're sick." Uncle Zhao helped him up from the bed and shoved a bowl of oddly colored soup into his hands. "Here, drink this and take a nap, you'll be fine."

Shen Chang'an looked at the soup with suspicion, worried that if he drank it, not only would his illness not get better, but he'd also get diarrhea.

"Don't worry, this soup is absolutely authentic, many...people would kill to have a sip of it." Uncle Zhao pushed the bowl to Shen Chang'an's mouth. "Drink!"

Thinking about Uncle Zhao's control over the kitchen, Shen Chang'an gritted his teeth and drank the soup.

The soup, which didn't look very appetizing, tasted fragrant and sweet. Shen Chang'an drank it all in one go, feeling the pain in his throat, which had been unbearable just moments ago, subside. He croaked, "Thank you, Uncle Zhao."

"It's normal for kids to get sick, don't be afraid." Uncle Zhao took the empty bowl. "What do you want for lunch? I'll make it for you."

"I want spicy chicken."

"No, it'll give you internal heat."

"Sour fish."

"A bit spicy."

"Then... flower crab?"

"That stuff has no nutrition, I'll make you some old duck soup."

Shen Chang'an: "..." So he just pretended to ask him democratically?